Before 2005′s big property boom, nearly all Western foreigners lived in pristine condos or downtown apartments.  After the en bloc madness was over, all but the richest foreigners were forced to move into Singapore’s HDB littered heartland.  My journey over the past four years has been from a three bedroom apartment at Mt. Emily, to a rented room near Pasir Panjang, to a two bedroom HDB in Clementi.  The roughest part is that I’m still paying the same rent!

During this transition, my workout venue is perhaps the only aspect of my life that has become more convenient and affordable. When I first arrived in Singapore, I was lured by the wild promotions and flashing signs of California Fitness.  The advertisements told of free complementary visits and sessions with a personal trainer.  The reality is that you only get the complementary visit if you sit through their sales spiel, and the free session with a personal trainer is just a commercial for more sessions with a personal trainer.  During the trainer’s high pressure sale, he poked my belly and said, “You like burgers, eh??!”  Shocked and naive, I was hoping that he’d just check my form on some of the workout machines and help me write down a good training schedule.

The California Fitness sales scheme was secretive and inexcusable.  I wanted a piece of paper that listed the their standard rates.  Instead they pounded me with questions and attempted to extort every last dollar.  Knowing full well that most people don’t go to the gym that often, they entice you with overpriced four year, three year, and two year plans available in not-very-different gold, silver, and platinum levels.  I eventually settled on a one year plan for something in the ballpark of sixty U.S. dollars a month.  After my first year I regretted my decision and canceled.

After I moved to HDB territory, I learned that there’s a better realm of fitness available in Singapore.  These small gyms are typically located near community sports centers and go by the name ClubFitt.

At a ClubFitt, there’s no pressure to join, and the pricing schemes are reasonable.  Adults can pay $2.50 per visit or the more ambitious can buy a six month membership for $170 (Those prices are Singapore dollars). There are bargain memberships available for seniors, students, and those willing to go at off-peak hours.

The environment is wholesome, but still tough enough to take fitness seriously.  Rather than the Spandex clad tai-tais and business high-rollers of the California Fitness set, ClubFitts will have buff National Servicemen working side-by-side with aerobic aunties.

If you have a question about the fitness equipment, there’s always a staff member willing to answer.  They will never pressure you to pay an extra fee.  There’s also plenty of equipment to use, and I usually have to wait less time than I did at the more expensive Orchard Road California Fitness.

There are, however, a few drawbacks. First, the rules are quite strict.  I’m not allowed to carry my water bottle with me and I have to leave it on a shelf outside the gym. For sanitation reasons, you are also required to carry a small towel at all times.  If you should forget your towel, the staff will force you to go buy a dollar towel from their counter.  The shower room, which I rarely use, is old and dingy.

The Singapore Sports Council makes a PDF available that provides comprehensive information about the ClubFitt gyms scattered around the island.

ClubFitt Gym Directory

If that link doesn’t work, more information can be found at the Singapore Sports Council’s official website.

Singapore Sports Council

If you move from America to Singapore, your paycheck will have a larger number.  However, that doesn’t mean that you’re making more money.  The typical exchange rate between Singapore (S$) and US($) currencies is between 1.4 and 1.6. That means that one Singapore dollar will get you approximately seventy cents. Even if you account for the exchange rate, there are some products that are still more expensive in Singapore.

If you’re American, don’t buy the following products in Singapore:

1) High End Laptops

Last week I was at a blogger event sponsored by Claudia Lim’s 24Seven social networking company.  On display was a fabulous Lenovo w700.  I drooled over its gargantuan seventeen-inch monitor, Intel Core 2 Duo Processor,  integrated color calibration tools, and in-built stylus.  Dreaming, I wanted to check the price of this laptop.  My jaw dropped when I saw that Lenovo Singapore’s list price is S$8,000!  I checked the U.S. website.  The same laptop can be purchased in the US for $3,369.  The exchange rate is not 2.4; someone is gouging laptop prices.

But I don’t want to single out Lenovo, most of the brands do the same thing.  I was considering getting a Gateway P7805 FX series laptop here in Singapore until I realized I could save $500 if I waited until I returned to the US.  Some of my friends use Macs, and, unless they received the Ministry of Education discount, they face similar price problems.

The conclusion: don’t buy high performance laptops in Singapore.  The mark-up on some laptops is high enough that you could buy a plane ticket to the U.S. and purchase your computer for roughly the same price. In Singapore you can, however, buy mid-tier laptops like Acer with confidence that you’re getting a good deal.

2) Cake Mixes

Singaporeans don’t bake very often.  Even the most dutiful housewives that I’ve met at church don’t bake like Americans. They steam, stir-fry, and boil; but Singapore’s climate doesn’t lend itself to baking.  Consequently, baking supplies are difficult to find.  If you want cake mixes, you’ll need to visit specialty shops or the Cold Storage in Great World City. Expect to pay twice as much for Betty Crocker as you would in the States, and the selection will be varied and seasonal.

The solution: Buy a few of your family’s favorite mixes before coming to Singapore. Throwing a few boxes into your suitcase or shipping container will save you money and get you exactly what you want.

3) Video Games

Video games sold all over the world are region encoded.  Because electronics companies want greater control of their devices and they want to reduce competition, a game purchased in Singapore probably won’t work on a gaming machine purchased in the US, Japan, or Europe.

Video games tend to be more expensive in Singapore.  Of course prices vary, but at one time a Nintendo Wii cost S$700 in Singapore but cost only $250 in the United States.

The U.S. also has a flourishing used market that is hard to find in Singapore.  Most titles over a year or two old can be purchased at GameStop for less than $20.  You’re incredibly lucky if you find something like that in Singapore.

There is one exception, most Playstation 3 titles aren’t region encoded.  This might give your family some leeway if you’re frequently moving around.

4) Mid- Range Brands

Several brands, notably Coach, Nine West, and Timberland, have miraculously convinced the Singaporean people that they are upscale and designer.  Expect to pay  upscale and designer prices at shops with these brands.  In the States no one sees these mid-tier brands as top-of-the-line, and you will pay half of what Singaporeans pay if you check the J.C. Penny sales rack or a Midwest outlet mall.

5) American Beef

The mad cow scare of a few years ago got all of the Asians worked up and put the Korean and Australian beef lobbies into overdrive.  Today in Singapore the vast majority of beef is Australian. Botak Jones is one of the few outlets bold enough to serve USDA beef, but if you want it elsewhere you’ll have to go places like the hundred-dollar-a-plate Morton’s of Chicago.

The solution: Go to Malaysia where they’re a little more laid back.  Right across from Woodland’s checkpoint is a TGI Friday’s that serves all of the American beef that you can fit in your belly.

Explore the beautiful coastline and sprawling shop houses of Malacca.

When you mention the word “Singapore” to your typical, C-in-Geography American, images of 1970s National Geographic photos of Asians on bikes, easy going, arts-and-crafts peddlers in colonial shop houses, and old aunties serving head-intact duck specialties flood their mind.  The real Singapore is a modern, pan-island megapolis where you’re more likely to see a Starbucks patron with a laptop than any of these anachronisms. Fortunately, Malacca, Malaysia, is just a short bus ride from Singapore and a place where the old world dreams of misguided Americans can be realized.

Beautiful Chinese sculptures line the streets of Malacca.

Getting There

The most inexpensive way to get to Malacca is to take a bus.  Even though I was going on the busiest possible holiday, I was able to stop by the Queen Street Bus Terminal near Bugis and purchase a ticket for less than thirty dollars. Unfortunately you can’t buy a round-trip ticket, but I’m assured that return tickets to Singapore are typically plentiful and affordable.  However, because my trip was during the last day of the Chinese New Year public holiday, I had to scrounge for a return ticket.  I eventually found a pricey one ($48) through Luxury Tours and Travels.

Accomodation

My accommodations were right in the middle of Malacca’s historic district at the family-owned Tang House. The facilities were quaint and affordable.  For only RM35 (S$15) I got a one night’s stay, internet access, and a toast-and-egg breakfast.  My tiny room did have an aircon, and the sheets and floor were fairly clean. (Even people traveling with a family can get cheap rates at this place; a triple room costs only RM 70 a night.)

The Shop Houses

I didn’t have to worry about being bored in Malacca. Getting lost among the shop houses and talking to all of the eccentric artists provided hours of interesting entertainment. Hillary took us to her friend’s new art and t-shirt shop, the Baboon House. Located on Heeren Street, the Baboon House has a cafe and showcases art by Malaysian artist Ro Ger.

Eccentric artists like Stanley Ho will greet you as you meander the streets.

Along Jalan Tan Cheng Lock, I chanced upon the art gallery of Jehan Chan, one of Malaysia’s national artists. Mr. Chan, an artist for over 30 years, paints two different types of subjects: seascapes and koi. The koi are drawn in a realistic and colorful perspectives; the seascapes tend to be cubist renditions of Malacca’s shoreline.

At night many venues offer live music in both Malay and English.

The friendliest artist that I met was named Stanley Ho. An aging vegetarian that watercolors in his rundown shop, Mr. Ho will stop and talk to you for hours.  He’ll tell stories and share how Malacca has changed.  An inquisitive person, he’s not shy about asking you the details of your own life.

Jesuit Priest St. Francis Xavier left a legacy in Malacca.

Another reason to visit Malacca is its rich religious history.  A Jesuit priest names Francis Xavier is a legend in the community.  A statue of him sits next to the ruins of a church that he founded, and few things will give you a better sense of history than gazing upon the tombstones of the early colonists.  If you ask locals, you can hear far fetched tales about St. Francis. My friend Hillary told me a story about a ship that was once caught in a tumultuous storm.  Rather than panicking like the sailors, Father Xavier prayed for the sea to calm.  Sometime during the night, he dropped a cross into the ocean. After safely landing ashore, Francis saw a crab carrying his cross. In turn he blessed the crab and released it to the sea.  To this day, apparently, the crabs in Malacca have crosses on their back.In addition to Catholicism, Malacca has Christ Church, a century’s old Protestant church still in operation, and I also visited an interesting museum about how the area obtained its Islamic heritage.

Before you leave Malacca, there are certain dishes that you must try.  Along Jonker Street just a stone’s throw from the Tang House, is an unnamed restaurant that serves the most savory bowl of laksa. The flavors are stronger and the vegetables are fresher than anything you will be served in Singapore.  I was also very fond of the chicken rice balls, a dish exclusive to the area but available at many restaurants.

Chicken Rice Balls- a Malacca Specialty

I was able to visit Malacca after Hillary, the gal who blogs at Precious Living.com, invited me to her family’s Chinese New Year party. I felt that it was an honor to be invited because in many families only relatives attend these reunions. Hillary’s family was open and hospitable; Hillary’s friend Nadia and her boyfriend Nic Khoo were there as well.  It was a thrill to see Malacca and spend the holiday with them.

Additional Resources

A Tourist Map of Malacca

If you’re a soon-to-be expatriate planning a move to Singapore, you have  undoubtedly heard of Singlish, the peculiar creole English spoken by most native Singaporeans.  It is a mix of Malay, Chinese dialects, and English.  Most people who bother to write about Singlish know it well, and they produce in-depth dictionaries cataloging the dialect’s nuances.  These books are an ever-present facet of every Singaporean bookstore, and if you want to learn more the material is definitely out there.

However, I feel the end result for most foreigners that pick up Singlish dictionaries is terminal information overload.  People just don’t learn much from picking up a dictionary.  Even-tempered expats become overwhelmed and give up and the more adventurous look silly as they misuse and mispronounce words. (Excuse me, did you see that ang kat makaning char siew cheem bye? Lah-lor.)

I don’t claim to be an expert on Singlish, but I will share ten words that I guarantee that you’ll hear in Singapore.

1. Angmoh

This is a racial label for white people. It literally means “red hair.” If you’re white you’ll be called an angmog. Don’t get offended; just get over it.  Singaporeans might also use this word as an adjective.  There are angmoh countries (USA, Britain, New Zealand, etc.), angmoh food, and angmoh movies.

2. On/Off

The words on and off are used as verbs in Singlish. Don’t correct someone when you hear them say “on the lights” or “off the lights.”  It is a common expression.  Who needs the word turn anyway?

3. Paiseh

This word is frequently used because there’s not really a direct, English translation.  A paiseh person is shy, humiliated, and embarrassed, or any combination of the three, at the same time. You might hear a sentence similar to the following: “The new employee doesn’t want to correct his boss because he is paiseh.”

4. Aircon

Singlish is a very efficient language.  In America we tend to say “air conditioned.”  In Singapore they just say aircon. You have an aircon in your house.  Singapore is loaded with aircon theaters and aircon shopping centers.  I’m lucky enough to teach in an aircon classroom.

5. Makan

Makan is the Malay word for eat.  Singaporeans will frequently say, “Let’s go makan.”  They also might invite you to a makan session.

Eating is, perhaps, the most important thing in Singaporean culture.  On many occasions I’ve been greeted the phrase “have you eaten,” instead of “hello” or “how are you?”

6. Recce

This isn’t a Singlish word, but it is used uniquely in Singapore.  Recce (pronounced reki) is short for reconnaissance.  If you’re in a planning or business situation you might hear someone ask, “Should we go recce the venue to make sure that it is right for our presentation?”   Its wide usage probably stems from the fact that every Singaporean male has served in the nation’s military.

7. Can/Cannot

These words are common English words, but in Singlish they tend to be used in place of yes and no. The reason for this stems from the use of the phrases ke yi (can) and bu ke yi (cannot) in Mandarin.

You might hear a dialog like this:

“Will you donate to help the Little Sisters of the Poor?”

“No money. Cannot.”

8. Shiok

When something is incredible or desirable, Singaporeans often describe it as shiok.  Food can be shiok, fashion can be shiok, and sports cars can be shiok.  Some people may use this word with a sexual connotation, but it is not a common usage.

9. Cheem

Cheem is another word where there is no exact English translation.  To be cheem is to be intellectual in a profound, yet stuffy, sort of way.  I’ve heard of some university professors and pastors being described as cheem.

10. Lah!

Lah is the grandaddy of all Singlish words, and you’ve reached the upper levels of Singlish when you can use this term authentically (I can’t).  Just as the subtle nuanced usage of like defines stereotypical valley girl slang, lah defines Singlish as a dialect.  Lah is used to emphasize certain words and make sentences more emphatic.  You may hear Singaporeans say, “Cannot, lah” or “Don’t hurry, lah.”

You also shouldn’t confuse lah with le or lor. Le is commonly tacked onto questions asked in Chinese, and this grammatical quirk has slipped its way into Singlish. I still can’t quite figure out lor; to me its usage is the same as lah, but I am assured that it is different.

I could go on and on about Singlish, but the purpose of this post is simply to reveal a list of words that you’re guaranteed to hear if you move to Singapore.  The good news if you’re a Caucasian expat is that no one really expects you to learn Singlish.  Each year the government launches its “Speak Good English” campaign, and many locals are quite sheepish about their use of Singlish around foreigners.  If you do muster the effort to master true Singlish, the benefits will be there (especially in comprehension); but some Singaporeans may view you as an oddity. Imagine a Chinaman that speaks speaks perfect Appalachian-American (Hillybilly) English or a man in a British bolo speaking African-American vernacular English. In case you’re wondering, the angmohs that I’ve met that have truly mastered Singlish are French and Germans that had poor English skills when they arrived in Singapore.

The web has a variety of sources to learn about Singlish.

I fact checked this article using The Dictionary of Singlish and Singapore English.

In print, the Coxford Singlish Dictionary is a comprehensive source on the subject.

Leap into Telunas Beach!

After you live in Singapore for more than a few weeks, you’ll become irked by the incessant and omnipresent city noise. Speeding diesel taxis, aircon hums, kitchen pans clanging, and blasting jackhammers will become the soundtrack of your life. Just like the air pollution that accompanies it, you’ll eventually become so used to the noise pollution that you will barely notice its presence. That is, you won’t notice it until you get a chance to escape it; and, in my opinion, a trip to Telunas Beach, Indonesia, is the best way to escape Singapore’s noise pollution and smog and reconnect with God’s marvelous, peaceful creation.

Nestled within Indonesia’s Riau Islands, Telunas Beach provides a no-frills escape to serenity.  The structures of the resort are situated on an eighth-mile boardwalk above the sea that is supported by wooden and concrete pylons.  The dining room and bunks have large windows to capture the sea breeze. And the beach at the end of the boardwalk is lined with hammocks and sand volleyball courts.

Telunas Beach is one of the most idyllic locations on the planet.

At Telunas you’ll be served the perfect combination of Asian-American fusion food.  In their hearth fire, they can cook pizza to order. If you prefer traditional Asian food, you can get freshly caught seafood with head intact.  Their pastas and soups are unforgettable.  The culinary triumph of Telunas is their signature banana crepe, a melt-in-your-mouth dessert that is the perfect combination of sweet and sticky.

For recreation you can explore the shoreline in a rented kayak, compete in sports on the beach, read books in one of the many hammocks, leap off the dock into the ocean, or play a few of their board games. If you come with a large enough group, you can opt for nature hikes, team challenge courses, Indonesian village home stays, or a trek through the mangroves to a breath-taking waterfall.

For what you get, Telunas is a bargain.  Three days and two nights costs roughly two hundred Singapore dollars ($160US), and that price includes the food.

You'll pass small Indonesian fishing villages in this boat before you arrive at Telunas Beach.

The only trouble that you might have is getting to the location. You’ll need to take a ferry from Singapore to Sekupang terminal in Batam.  From there the Telunas staff will pick you up and whisk you away in a small boat equipped only with an outboard motor for another ninety minute trip to the resort.  If I remember correctly, if you go with a small group, they charge an arm-and-a-leg for that second ferry ride; but if you go with a large enough group then the fee is waived.  (Three years ago I took my family and we were able to piggy-back with another retreat to avoid the fee.) I strongly recommend this place for church youth group and cell group outings.

Hopefully, I’ve piqued your interested in this picturesque place.  If you’re considering making the journey, contact Brad, Mike, or Eric through Island Connections official website.

Telunas Beach – Island Connections

When most families move locations, there’s a certain period of time where all they want to do is eat out.  The dishes aren’t unpacked, and the pet roaches belonging to the previous tenant have not been removed from the kitchen.  When a family moves to Singapore from a westernized country like America or Australia, they’ll probably want to act upon the same eat-out impulse.  Unfortunately, they’ll soon find that the Canadian Pizza isn’t quite Dominoes, the nearest restaurant probably specializes in fish head curry, and even the Golden Arches isn’t exactly what you’re used to having back home. If you’re on your own, it might be an adventure; but if you’ve got whiny kids in tow, it is an all-out nightmare.

Fortunately, Singapore does have quite a variety of good Western food available.  There are, of course, expensive joints such as the Sizzler at Suntec City, and the Outback at Millennium Walk, but you’ll pay almost thirty dollars a plate for these dinners.  Fortunately, if you know where to look, Singapore does have some hidden Western food gems with great dinners available for folks on a budget.

Aston’s Specialties can be found in five location’s throughout Singapore. This franchise serves a wide array of steaks and barbecued chicken.  Side dishes include fried foods such as onion rings and fries as well as healthier baked potatoes and steamed vegetables. If you’re looking for a pleasant ambiance, try their location at the Cathay theater which is located near Dhoby Ghaut MRT Station; but be prepared for at least a twenty minute wait.  If you want a coffee shop atmosphere and food in a hurry, the location near the Sixth Avenue Center provides good American food in a uniquely Singaporean coffee shop atmosphere.

Personal Favorite

Black pepper chicken with baked beans and onion rings.  Total cost = $6.50

The chicken is cut chop style, similar to what might get if your ordered chicken fried chicken at a southern restaurant in the states, but it is barbecued on on the grill.  The onion rings are deep fat fried to perfection; the batter sticks on them well enough that the onion won’t slide out as you eat it.

Visit their official website for more information.

Aston’s Specialties

The Singlish word for bald is botak.  By now you’ve probably guessed it, Botak Jones was started by a bald man; his name is Bernie Utchenik.  His mission was to bring tasty Western food to the working class areas of Singapore.

At Botak Jones you won’t find healthy food.  You’ll find steak, fried food, and sandwiches all served in humongous portions.  Frequently, you can find USDA grade American beef on some of the menu items. (American beef was previously restricted in Singapore after the mad cow scare.)

Nearly all of the stalls are near MRTs so you shouldn’t have any trouble locating these fantastic places to eat.  You’ll find them around Bedok, Boon Lay, Sommerset, Toa Payoh, Yishun, and several others.  The venue that I’ve visited most often is just a stone’s throw from Clementi MRT.

Christians and concerned parents might want to know that Botak Jones promotional materials frequently use mild expletives.

Personal Favorite

I like the Cajun chicken sandwich with Mexican rice and spicy fries. Total cost = $8

If you can’t handle the heat, you can get barbecue chicken and other types of fries including cheese fries and traditional fries.

This place also has a catering service.  Visit their official website for more information.

Botak Jones

Dan Ryan’s Chicago Grill probably shouldn’t be on the list of budget eateries, but this place provides such an American feel that I couldn’t resist.  If you sit in Dan Ryan’s comfortable leather seats, watch the ESPN on the TV, and gaze at the peculiar American oddities on the wall for too long, you’ll think you’ve stumbled back to the Midwest.

Dan Ryan’s is also, as far as I know, the only place on the island that serves free flow Dr. Pepper.  For those that don’t know, Dr. Pepper is only available in Singapore at upscale supermarkets such as the Cold Storage in Great World City; moreover, restaurant drinks are usually served in single twelve once servings.  (It isn’t like the U.S. where most food joints allow you to hook your mouth under the fountain and drink ’till you burst for less than two dollars.)

One of the best reasons to eat here is the free bread that is brought to the table. It is the only place in Asia where I’ve been served authentic corn bread.

If you want to eat on a budget, show up at lunch time or before five in the evening. If you show up after five, you’re guaranteed to pay over twenty dollars a plate.

Personal Favorite

I usually try to save money so I’ll just order their mushroom and swiss burger.  Approximate cost = $15  If I want to spend a little extra money, the potato skins are delicious.)

You’ll find this place in the Tanglin Shopping Center which is located about a ten minute walk away from Orchard MRT.  This restaurant also has franchises in Hong Kong and Taiwan, but I’ve never visited these stores.

Visit Dan Ryan’s Official Site

Dan Ryan’s Chicago Grill

Stewards Riverboat makes the list because of its amazing fajitas.  It is one of the few places to find delicious Tex-Mex food in Singapore.  Yet Westerners searching for totally authentic food should ask about menu items carefully; there are some odd hybrid fusion foods like squid chimichangas that can be tasty, but might not be quite what you are looking to eat for dinner. Especially for signature dishes, the prices for adults are quite expensive (>$30); but the kids’ menu for those under twelve is an excellent bargain.

The top level of the boat is an ideal place to take large groups for meetings, especially church groups.When it’s not rainy, there is a tranquil view of the surrounding sea.  The restaurant owners seek to infuse Christian principles into their operation and have gone so far as to utilize the alpha and omega symbol in their company logo. I believe the upper deck even has a jacuzzi that can be used for baptisms.

However, I would stay away from their enclosed second floor meeting room.  The venues is a stationary boat on a sometimes-choppy sea.  The last thing that you will want are your guests to suffer bouts of sea-sickness and claustrophobia.

This boat is located in Marina South Pier, a fairly isolated spot in Singapore, and the operating hours can be a little erratic.

Check the website for full information.

Stewards Riverboat

Welcome Cowboy Caleb Readers.  This website is mostly about Christian education. For something a little more random and entertaining, check out my personal blog:  Media Slog

If you paid careful attention to the fans in the stands during the Beijing Olympics, you heard them Chinese yelling “Jia Yo!” as they cheered on their favorite players.  The literal meaning of this phrase is “pour oil,” and it encourages the athletes to increase their competitive furor in the same way that flames are increased by adding oil or an engine is revved with additional  fuel.

The fuel that kick starts the engines of many professional educators the world over is a cup of morning java.  If we teachers had a cheering section, perhaps our adoring onlookers would yell, “Jia Ka Fei.”  (English translation: pour coffee).

Unfortunately, after stumbling from the plane and battling their first bout of jet lag, newcomers to Singapore soon fight their first bout with culture shock when they discover their favorite Folgers or Maxwell House varieties are absent in their neighborhood NTUC FairPrice or Sheng Shiong Supermarket. The tendency among first-time foreigners is to revert to the two places they know to purchase their coffee fix: Starbucks and McDonalds.

Considering the expense of shopping at these Western chains and the affordable and delicious alternatives carefully brewed by native Singaporeans, it is sad to see so many coffee sippers default to the  most expensive common denominator.  You see, southeast Asia is littered with hundreds of tiny shops serving delicious local brews of coffee. The old aunties and uncles that run these stands, called kopitiams or hawker centers, would be more than happen to serve your morning cup, and the cost is usually under a dollar and always under $1.50.  It’s a far cry from the $4, $5, and $7 coffee served by Starbucks and McDonald’s.

The primary barrier for foreigners desiring these tasty, caffeinated concoctions is language.  Created by the mish-mash of cultures that has landed on the shores of Singapore in the past four hundred years, Singapore coffee lingo requires understanding a smattering of several languages: including Hokkien, English, Mandarin, and Malay.  Hopefully this guide will break down the essential of Singapore coffee vocabulary and assist even the most mono-lingual visitor sample a tasty cup of “kopi.”

Here are a few items that you will find on the menu of every kopitiam:

Kopi

Kopi is the Malay word for coffee.  If you simply order kopi, you will be served a hot glass mug of strong, thick coffee that has been brewed in a sock-like filter.  In the bottom of the cup, it will have sweetened condensed milk and often a small amount of evaporated milk. Make sure that you stir the drink as you drink or you will find a sweet surprise at the bottom as you finish your glass.

Teh

Teh is the Malay word for tea.  Teh is brewed in a sock in nearly the same way as the kopi.  If you order Teh it will be served hot with sweetened condensed milk and sugar.

Kopi-C and Teh-C

If you prefer the evaporated milk to the sweetened condensed milk that Singaporeans often use for creamer, order your beverage with “C” on the end of it.  They’ll also add sugar to this blend.

Kopi-O and Teh-O

Should your tastebuds not enjoy the extra fat and cream that comes with sweetened condensed milk and evaporated milk, you can order your coffee and tea with only added sugar.  Simply tell the coffee shop staff that you’d like Kopi-O or Teh-O.

Kopi-kosong and Teh-kosong

Kosong is the Malay word for “empty.”  If you order coffee and tea with the suffix “kosong,” you won’t get any extra milk, sugar, or sweetener.

Kopi-bing and Teh-bing

Bing is the Mandarin word for ice. Instead of serving you a hot drink, they will serve it to you cold. If you try to say this and they don’t understand, try peng, the Hokkien word for ice.  If all else fails, even the most uneducated, elder coffee shop aunts and uncles understand the word “ice.”  Just say, “Kopi-ice” or “Teh-ice.”

Kopi-gau and Teh-gau

Gau is Hokkien for strong.  You won’t get added hot water in your teh or kopi if you select these beverages.

Kopi-xiu-dia and Teh-xiu-dia

You’ll get less sugar if you add xui-dai on the end of your order.

The Rules of the Game

If you haven’t figured it out by now, you can mix and match the suffixes to your heart’s content.  If you want coffee with condensed milk but less sugar, just say,”Kopi-C-kosong.” If you want strong tea with ice, simply say, “Teh-gau-bing.” If you want coffee with sweetened condensed milk, less sugar, and ice, all you need to do is say, “Kopi-C-xiu-dia-bing.”

Specialty Tea and Coffee

The drinks listed above are standard on nearly every Singaporean menu.  Sometimes you’ll chance across some ethnic or unusual varieties.

Teh Tarik

Teh Tarik is a fairly common beverage in Singapore, and extremely common in Malaysia.  Tarik is the Malay word for pull.  Your tea will be poured between two cups in order to create a rich, frothy mixture.  Sugar and sweetened milk come standard with this drink.

Tehcino or Kopicino

Only a few kopitiam owners will understand what this assimilation between European cappacino and Singaporean coffee and tea.  Similar to teh tarik, Tehcino and Kopicino are pulled between two cups into a frothy mixture.  The frothiest part of the milk is added on top.  This mixture may not be served with extra sugar.

Teh Kotak and Teh Halia

These two varieties are tea with extra flavoring.  Teh Kotak is tea with added jasmine, and Teh Halia is ginger teh.

Diao Her

You’ll get Chinese tea if you order diao her. It should be noted that this is the Chinese word for fishing.  The process of steeping tea reminded the Chinese of fishing, hence the name.

Kopi Luwak

It is doubtful that you’ll chance upon this.  Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee in the world and the raw coffee bean was passed through the digestive tract of an Indonesian civet cat.  (You can read about my experience drinking this coffee at my personal blog.)

Personal Recommendation

If you’re new to the Singapore coffee scene, I highly recommend my friend Byron’s coffee shop, Good Morning Nanyang Cafe.  The stall is located in the spiraling Chinatown point, smack-dab in the heart of Singapore.

For a map and details, Singapore’s site, HungryGoWhere.com can’t be beat.

Good Morning Nanyang Cafe 早安南洋 (Chinatown Point)

A special thanks to the Wikipedia contributors and my friends on Plurk for information that was used in this post.